Smack! The crowd cheers as Jess, the starting freshman hits the ball. The crowd goes wild as the game gets closer and closer to the game point. The score was 24-23, one more point until the game was over, and the Wolves win the game. Bailey, the best server, was up to serve. It was such a nerve racking time for the crowd, and for the players. Bailey threw the ball up and hit it. The serve went over the net and the libero from the other team passed the ball. The ball came right back over the net. The ball was set up to Jess, Jess went up, and smack! She hit the ball and it hit the floor! The crowd, the coaches, and the team were jumping up and down and cheering! The Wolves made it to state volleyball!
After the game, the team came out of the locker room. Everyone was congratulating everyone. The team was going to go celebrate.
“Everyone can come to my place,” Bailey said.
Everyone hopped into a car and headed off to Bailey’s. Jess got in with Bailey, and then they were on the road. Bailey’s phone started ringing, but her phone was in her bag in the back seat. She went to go grab her bag and then the car started swerving onto the other side of the road.
“Bailey what are you doing? There is a car coming! Grab the wheel!” Jess at this point was screaming at Bailey, and then crash. Everything went dark.
“Get them out of here.”
“Start the IV’s.”
“Does she have a heart beat?”
That was all Jess could hear. She was put on a gurney and was carried to the ambulance.
“Grab her phone, find her parents’ numbers”.
All Jess was thinking about was if she going to be okay, and where Bailey was? Once again, everything went dark.
*At the hospital*
“Where is Bailey?” that was all Jess was saying to the nurse who was trying to help her.
“Where is she?”
“Honey, let's concentrate on getting you better,” the nurse replied.
Jess’ parents arrived at the hospital. They were sitting in Jess’ room while Jess was napping. The doctors came into her room and told them that their daughter was very lucky, and that she only has a few bumps and bruises and a sprained ankle. Jess’ parents asked how Bailey was, and they told them that she was not doing too well. She was suffering from brain damage, and she is in a coma, fighting for her life.
Jess woke up just in time to hear that “she is fighting for her life”
“Are you talking about Bailey?” Jess asked looking worried and now sitting up.
“Sweetie, Bailey is going to be fine.”
“No she’s not. I heard the whole conversation with the doctors” Jess said, now getting mad.
“Jess, she will be fine, she is going to live. She is fighting for her life right now. You are a lucky girl!”
“I know mom.”
*A few days later*
Bailey still hasn't came out of her coma. It has been 3 days and she still hasn't woken up. Jess has been going to volleyball practice because state volleyball was in just 2 days. She has been going to the hospital everyday to sit, and wait with Bailey. Today when Jess went to the hospital to sit with Bailey, the doctors came rushing in. All Jess could hear were doctors talking, and then a loud, long beep. That moment was the most devastating point in Jess’ life. Her best friend had just passed away.
The next day at practice Jess told the team. They were heartbroken, but now they had something to play for the next day at state. The team now was practicing harder than ever. They wanted to win for their best friend Bailey. It was the end of practice, and the girls said that they were going to make t-shirts and bows in the color red because that was Bailey’s favorite color. They went out and got their t-shirts and made bows. The shirts said Bailey’s name on them.
The next day it was the state tournament. The team rode the bus, and it was just an hour before game time. They went into their locker room and got ready, then prayed for their best friend and hoped that Bailey was watching over them today. They were ready to play and win for Bailey, they ran out of the locker room and started warming up. The team they were playing was number 1 in the state, so it was going to be a tough game to win.
It was time to start the game, the announcer announced the starters names and then he asked everyone to bow their heads in silence for the death of Bailey. After the moment of silence, it was time for the game. The first serve was over the net, the ball was set up to Jess and she slammed it to the floor. The first point was the Wolves. The game went back and forth. It was almost the end of the game and the score was 24-23 the Wolves were ahead. It was the other team’s serve. They served it over and it was set up once again to Jess, she wanted to win the game so badly for her best friend, then she went up and slammed the ball again, right into the ground. The Wolves just won state Volleyball!
I liked how you started off with the intensity of a close volleyball game. The intensity really grabbed my attention. I liked how you added a plot twist. I thought the dialogue made the story seem more real. Overall, I thought this was a great story, and it grabbed my attention.
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